Thriving with chronic illness: 5 benefits of chronic illness coaching
Whether you’ve read my journey to becoming a Chronic Illness Coach or not, you’ve landed on this post because you want to know how to do more than ‘just survive’ with chronic illness. In fact, you might me teetering on the edge of believing you can thrive with chronic illness, and you’re wondering how chronic illness coaching will help you do that.
There are, of course, many, many ways in which chronic illness coaching will benefit you and your life - it’s really important that the work I do as a Chronic Illness Coach provides foundations for every other part of your life, too - but for the sake of time and mental energy, here are 5 of the best!
1.You get to process and work through the true experience of living with chronic illness.
Living with chronic illness is traumatic. There, I said it.
→ Whether it’s the myriad of physiological realities of living with chronic illness.
→ The emotional and psychological realities of living with chronic illness.
→ The way you might’ve been treated by friends, family, colleagues or society, as a person living with chronic illness.
→ The actions you’ve had to take in order to survive.
→ The way you’ve treated yourself, trying to fit into the societal expectations of being a human, whilst experiencing chronic illness.
→ The way you still treat, view, talk to yourself as a result of all the above.
What have I missed?
All of that has huge potential to be traumatic. All of that has an impact on your nervous system.
Note for another time: I wish the chronic illness experience wasn’t open to so much trauma, but the way we as a society view pain, discomfort and chronic illness - and encourage disconnection from our bodies and physical/mental/emotional experiences at every turn - means that it is.
What’s worse is that we don’t talk any of those things nearly enough.
When was the last time you were given space to talk openly, freely and honestly about the experience of living with chronic illness?
When was the last time someone asked you about anything other than the ‘headlines’; about something other than the manifestation of chronic illness (aka your symptoms and maybe how they affect you)?
Here’s the thing: we, as a society, don’t know how to talk about chronic illness!
Considering how many people live with chronic illness, how mad is that?
Side note: Sure, you’ve got your memes, TikTok and Instagram accounts that share things, but they always come with some sort of filter/editing/curated presentation, and for the most part, they’re pretty much one way exchanges. They have their place but they can never go deep enough.
There’s some unspoken rule that says you should just get on with it, a rule perpetuated even by many of the health care professionals you’ve encountered.
There’s a huge awkwardness that surrounds the whole thing.
And, when we’re living chronic illness so heavily within our bodies, any bit of life we get outside of that is escapism, right? We don’t necessarily want our chronic illness experience to be a part of our relationships, friendships, family-ships any more than it already is.
But. But, but, but…not talking about the experience of living with chronic illness only compounds the trauma.
And when we try to squish it down, it will eventually bubble up anyway.
So we may as well be intentional about talking about our chronic illness, right?
Finding a space to talk about the experience of living with chronic illness, how it is now, how it’s been in the past and how you want it to be in the future, is so damn important.
This talking and sharing is a piece of the re-engineering puzzle.
When we know how to talk about chronic illness. When we remove the stigma around saying my god, I’m finding this whole thing really hard at the moment and I just need to say that out loud. When we find spaces that feel safe for us to share openly. When we know how to ask for help without shame. When we understand that there’s stuff to process there, and that there’s help out there to help us do that…
It’s so bloody powerful.
A chronic illness coach, most of the time (sweeping generalisation right there!) will be someone who knows and gets your experience, because they’ve been through a similar one.
They'll be able to help you find a way - that feels good to you - to talk about your chronic illness experience in a more open, honest, heart-led way, with anyone you want to (I’ve got something coming on this soon, sign up to my mailing list to find out when it goes live!)
And, as if it’s an afterthought 😆, that stuff is MAJORLY HEALING. You don’t always realise or acknowledging what you’re holding in your body - and how that’s being expressed by your body - until you start unpacking it in a safe, supported space.
2. You learn to understand and accept and review just how much chronic illness changes you…
Living with chronic illness changes you, there’s no denying that.
It’s a huge - ongoing - life event that shifts who you are as a person.
Hey, it’s not necessarily a bad thing that chronic illness changes you! But because acceptance of chronic illness is painted as ‘bad’ - because chronic illness is something we’re conditioned to believe shouldn’t exist in a ‘normal human’ - the change is something so many try to resist and avoid.
That resistance/avoidance makes life really, really hard.
This is where acceptance and compassion come into their own. And this is also where it gets sticky!
The capitalist society we live in operates and survives on people believing they're not enough as they are. Because when we believe that, we look outside of ourselves to fill that void.
Chronic illness isn’t exempt from that. In fact, it’s a primary breeding ground for that.
When we’re unaccepting of the way we’ve changed as a result of chronic illness (and our chronic illness altogether), when we’re trying our damned hardest to ‘get back to the person we used to be and the life we used to live’, we’re operating from a place of inherent not-enoughness.
So I’d love you to, for just a minute, take yourself to a space in your mind and body in which you completely accept all that you are, chronic illness included. Where you accept all the ways your chronic illness has changed you; mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically. And you allow yourself to look for some good in amongst it all.
NB: If all you felt was resistance when you tried that, put a pin in it and take note.
You know, I am yet to meet or work with a person living with chronic illness who hasn’t become a more rounded, compassionate, softened, understanding person as a direct result of living with chronic illness. Even if they don’t see it in themselves.
I am also yet to meet or work with a person living with chronic illness who, at first glance, fully understands the scope of possibility, growth and brilliance that is now available to them as a result of the changes they’ve experienced, and the person they’ve grown into, as a direct result of living with chronic illness.
That’s my job as a Chronic Illness Coach. Whether it’s through my programmes or in 1:1 work, I help you to see, understand and compassionately accept your chronic illness and the changes you’ve experienced within your life and yourself as a result of living with chronic illness.
And then I help you, for want of a better word, utilise them. OK, there probably are better words; lean into them, build on them, reveal more about them, lean on them, learn from them. You get the gist.
3. Chronic illness coaching helps you learn and interpret the language of your body.
Your chronic illness is your body’s way of communicating intelligence and wisdom from within.
But there’s so much getting in the way of you connecting with and listening to it, some of which I’ve already touched on.
Essentially, if you’re living in a state of resisting your chronic illness, of seeing it as a broken part of you, of it being the reason you’re ‘not enough’, you are NOT going to be able to listen to it.
Even if you think you’re in tune with your body, if all of the above is true for you, the result of you being ‘in tune with your body’ will be to try and ‘fix’ whatever is happening with it.
The equivalent of telling a child who’s trying to get your attention, to go away.
You may be seeing that they need your attention, but you’re not hearing them. You’re not allowing yourself to understand why, why, and why again. And you’re not then creating the bandwidth for yourself to act on that information in a way that makes sense.
Learning and interpreting the language of your body and chronic illness starts with healing the relationship you have with your body and chronic illness.
I’m not a massive fan as healing as a verb; but I can’t think of another word to use here.
It requires a shift of perspective, unlearning what you currently believe to be true, establishing a foundation of inner safety, a sh*t load of compassion, acceptance and some detective work!
I know that all sounds a lot, and honestly it’s not the half of it, but this isn’t a race and you get to do it at your own pace.
Learning to work in partnership with your body and chronic illness will change your life forever.
Genuinely. That’s a HUGE statement, but a worthy statement.
It’s a step-by-step process and the journey IS IT (there are no thens and whens). As cliche as that sounds.
And most of all, it’s not a journey you have to make on your own.
Outside perspective, support, a sounding board, experience, guidance, reflection, are ALL parts of the chronic illness coaching process that will help you learn and understand the language of your body and chronic illness.
4. You’re guided through figuring out how to put into action the wisdom and intelligence that’s being communicated with you via your chronic illness, in a chronic illness informed way.
OK, Chronic Illness Informed is a term I coined, and if you’re new here, you might not have heard it before. I explain what it means here.
It’s one thing hearing and understanding the body wisdom and intelligence that’s being communicated with you via your chronic illness. It’s another actually putting it into action…in a way that won’t result in a flare, burnout, or an uptick in your chronic illness symptoms.
Conditioning runs deep and whenever we attempt to do anything in life, it’s very rare we stop to ask ourselves ‘how can I do this in a way that suits ME and my needs best?’
Even harder is giving yourself permission to then DO the thing in a way that suits you best.
There are so many rules and beliefs that get in the way; shoulds, cants and musts.
Working out how to take the information and wisdom your body is communicating with you and action it in a way that’s the most supportive, supported and nourishing gets to be FUN!
And not only are you supporting your body by doing what it’s asking of you, you’re feeding and nourishing your body in the way that it needs. It’s a win-win.
Creative thinking plays a HUGE part in this. Allowing yourself to operate outside of expectations plays a HUGE part in this. Setting yourself free of the ‘rules’ plays a HUGE part in this.
All are things that a Chronic Illness Coach will help you with. All are things I also cover in The Guide to Chronic Illness Informed Planning and Living.
5. Chronic illness coaching helps you figure out what embracing your chronic illness as part of you looks like for you.
The main thing here is that you get to a place of loving and accepting your WHOLE self. That you are able to live your life in a way that supports and nourishes you. That you’re able to live a life that contains your wants, needs, and desires. That you feel fulfilled, joyful and passionate about and by life.
Chronic illness is a part of you and that really isn’t a bad thing.
So isn’t it about time you learned how to embrace that part of you, show it compassion, acceptance and respect. And whilst you’re at it, show the same to the other parts of you that might not be so high on your favourites list?
Chronic illness is your body functioning EXACTLY as it’s meant to.
Chronic illness a channel for your body’s expression. No matter what we’ve been lead to believe about it being an ‘abnormality’ or ‘body malfunction’, it’s actually a completely sensical, understandable reaction to circumstance.
When you use the wisdom and intelligence of your chronic illness to guide you in living the life you want to live and the life you desire…
When you see it’s cues and signals (otherwise known as symptoms), not as ‘proof’ that your body is ‘broken’, but as nudges from your body that you’re living out of alignment, that you’re in situations that don’t feel good, that you’re stressed or tired or whatever, and you ACT on those cues and signals in a compassionate, gentle way…
That in and of itself is healing in practice.
It’s healing in practice because your chronic illness will respond to whatever new circumstances you create, too.
Whatever embracing your chronic illness as your ally looks like, will be unique to you. You can’t buy the steps from someone else. You can’t be told what to do.
But you can work with someone - a Chronic Illness Coach - to help you figure out what your journey is.
I’m Alana, Chronic Illness Coach, Writer and Podcaster
After 10 years of trying to fix, fight and ‘cure’ my chronic illness, I decided to chuck away the rule book and instead embrace my chronic illness as my guide, ally and superpower… and I’ve never been happier or healthier!
