Lesson 03 - Nourishing self-esteem.
Written version.
Hopefully you’ve had a moment to go back over the modules you’ve worked through so far, to check in and see if any of those pillars are feeling wobbly, and to acknowledge and celebrate those that feel strong and sturdy.
It’s really important that when you’re taking action to move towards your goals, dreams, desires - with building your self-esteem as a bonus - that you do it in an aligned, grounded way, with trust, inner safety, compassion and acceptance at the centre of it all.
That’s the only way this part of the practice really gets to work.
If, during the process of working towards your goal/dream/desire, none of that stuff is there and you stumble or trip, it’ll have the opposite effect to the one we’re after.
And we don’t want that!
Practice.
Before we get going, briefly read over your 20 Chronic Illness Superpowers, and any notes you made last session.
OK, it’s time to tune into all of that wonderful stuff.
Get comfy, close your eyes, take a full breath in, stretch up the spine, and hold it at the top. Then let it all go with a big sigh. Steady your breath, making it low and slow.
Call on anything you wrote in your journal or in the workbook in the last session. What do you want to remind yourself of? What’s going to provide the support you need? Are there any affirmations that you find particularly helpful?
Sit with that for a few minutes, let it really sink in.
Now bring to mind your superpowers, you can softly open your eyes and read over them if that feels like what you need. Repeat them to yourself as fact.
Now we’re going to move into something a little more practical; your journal or the workbook will come in handy here. Return to your breath, settle, bring some movement back into your fingers and toes, and slowly open your eyes.
This next part is all about planning the steps that will help you move towards your goal/dream/desire, checking in with those pillars the whole time, ensuring that the steps you create will support and rebuild your self-esteem as you go.
Pick something that you want to do in life. It can be big or small, but in the spirit of going gently to begin with, pick something that feels comfortable. I’ll be providing examples to help, if you find yourself a bit stuck.
Pick a thing (returning to open water swimming)
Sit with it for a while and tune into how your body and mind has responded; what feelings and thoughts have come up? Get descriptive, tune into the more obvious, well known feelings, as well as the ones that feel a bit more random. (excitement, anxiety, adrenaline, fear, energy in shoulders, buzzing, joy)
Notice your reaction to those thoughts and feelings. What stories are coming up? What do you have the impulse to do? (I really want to do it but don’t know if I can. Procrastination, avoidance, distraction)
Invite those feelings, thoughts and stories in. Let them know they’re welcome. Get curious… What’s beneath their surface? How are they trying to protect you? (Excitement; this feels aligned, I truly want this. Fear; what’s that fear about? Avoidance; [could be] I don’t know how to do this in a true-to-me way.)
What would your most compassionate, understanding self say to these thoughts/feelings/beliefs? If you have trouble with this one, think about what you’d say to a child with these thoughts/feelings/beliefs. (Stay with that excitement, it’s a great sign. It’s OK to feel fear, what’s it inviting you to deepen? [Could be] trust) Avoidance; all considered, it’s understandable you’re avoiding it. If there were no rules about how to do this, what would feel most aligned? Tune into your superpowers to help you here.)
Time to check in with your energy and nervous system. Take some regulating breaths, focus on a homebase. Place a hand over your heart-space as a gesture of compassion. Bring forward any of those affirmations or reminders you saved from earlier in this module. Allow them to sink in.
What’s the smallest, first step you could take? Your superpowers will help you here, too. (Remind myself of the website/visit the facebook group/research swim times and temperatures.)
Is there anything else causing you to feel stuck? What would help you in this moment? Support, accountability? What are you being invited to learn and/or deepen?
Make a commitment to yourself to take that first step. Plan it in your calendar if it helps. And if you don’t get around to it, show yourself compassion. It’s not a reflection on your value or worth, it’s likely something practical that needs tweaking, or another part of you that’s asking to be shown compassion, acceptance, understanding. Maybe your first step is to rest and not ‘do anything’ at all; if so, embrace it!
Bloody celebrate! It’s in the celebration, in the acknowledgement that not only can you absolutely do this (whatever your ‘this’ is!), that you get to do it in a totally aligned and true-to you way, that your self-esteem gets the big, nourishing hug it needs. So, how are you going to celebrate?